Grab your popcorn and your cold wallet, folks—Crypto Week is coming to the U.S., and for once, the chaos isn’t just on the charts. From July 14 to 18, lawmakers will pretend they understand blockchains while voting on bills that could actually reshape the entire crypto landscape. Yes, really. No, I don’t know how either.
We’ve got the GENIUS Act, which might finally put stablecoins on a leash (with audits, reserves, and hopefully fewer scandals). Then there’s the CLARITY Act, aiming to stop the SEC and CFTC from playing bureaucratic ping-pong with every new token. And, because no U.S. event is complete without a little paranoia, there’s the Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act, which basically screams “No digital dollar for you, Big Brother!”
If these bills pass, we might—might—see a regulatory structure that isn’t just vibes and subpoenas. Markets are already reacting like it’s Christmas in July, with Bitcoin flirting with all-time highs.
But will it be a landmark week for crypto legitimacy or just more grandstanding with buzzwords? No one knows. Not even Congress. But damn it, we’ll be watching, snacks in hand, waiting to see if the moon finally gets a boarding gate.