As a parent, be intentional to make your child FEEL SAFE when they exhibit what ADULTS label as lie.

I'm intentionally using two phrases here, FEEL SAFE, and ADULTS.

Because what adults see as lie is a child's appropriate way of seeking safety or connection.

I'll talk about the need for connection tomorrow, let's focus on the need for safety.

To teach or script your child to feel comfortable to express their truth, children need to repetitively FEEL SAFE.

I hear parents tell their children 'Tell me the truth' or 'Feel free to tell me the truth'.

But when they're telling their children these, they're either yelling, dragging the child's ears, or beating the child.

If saying the truth comes with pain, lie will be an escape route.

Your child's brain is still developing, you can hardly assess their 'thinking brain', what you can easily assess is their 'feeling brain', and we should be intentional about it.

Children don't feel safe because of what we say, but how we make them feel when they lie.

Again, it's not an endorsement for lie, but focusing on the long-term game, of raising a child that isn't feeling threatened or scared speaking the truth.

Dear intentional parent, you need to be intentional, in how you project your emotions of displeasure.

If a child feels ashamed, scared and guilty, what you'll tell the child next will be difficult to internalise.

However, when the child feels safe, and seen, the child will be open to receive and internalise what you'll say next.

The goal is to play the long-term game, where we don't allow our emotions disrupt the value and moral compass we want to instil in our children.

Chew on this!

Adeh jones