How to fight Trader’s Depression: Ultimate methods (Tested on Myself...)
1. Scream into your trading mouse.
It won’t respond. But at least one of you is expressing emotions.
2. Rename your portfolio.
From “Retirement Plan” to “Existential Risk Simulator 3000.” Accuracy matters.
3. Use candles for actual lighting.
Because chart candles clearly hate you. Real ones provide warmth. And fire hazard.
4. Eat spaghetti with a spoon.
If you can master this chaos, you can master any market.
5. Hire a cat as emotional support analyst.
They’ll sit on your keyboard and cause fewer losses than your last 3 trades.
6. Buy a tiny plastic gold bar.
Put it on your desk. Stare at it. Whisper: “You’re the only gold that stayed.”
7. Write a heartfelt letter to Jerome Powell.
End it with “Pls stop.” Burn it under a full moon. Cry.
8. Join a Telegram group of other broken souls.
Bonus points if half of them are bots with better win rates than you.
9. Buy the dip. Again.
Then write poetry about it, titled: “My Wallet, My Mistake.”
10. Finally: accept the absurdity.
The market isn’t rational. Neither are you. Hug your cat. Eat a banana.
You’re still here. That’s a win.
