[A little story to make everyone laugh!!!]
In the cryptocurrency world, the word 'faith' is used too casually, casually enough to make me want to laugh every time I hear it. When the market rises, everyone shouts, 'Bitcoin is faith'; but once it crashes, those people become like startled birds, desperately selling off, who still cares about faith? I used to think I had faith, but now I know it was just a desire for money. When making money, it’s genuine belief; when losing, it’s genuine fear.
I am a person who has completely 'paid tuition' in cryptocurrency trading. After all the ups and downs, the 8 million is gone, and I have also sacrificed my health. Now I have lost 20 pounds and seen through the disguise of so-called 'financial freedom,' but the cost is too high, and thinking about it makes my heart ache.
To talk about how I ended up losing control, I have to start from the beginning. In 2017, I had my ‘first million’ in the cryptocurrency world. At that time, I had saved some money and, relying on my investment acumen, could always find reliable projects with good returns, and my life was quite comfortable. But after seeing people around me get rich overnight because of Bitcoin, I couldn’t hold back any longer.
At that time, the market was unbelievably good; Bitcoin prices soared, and I heard that some people’s earnings in two or three months were equivalent to what I earned in a year. Soon, several friends pooled together millions to let me trade for them, my principal plus theirs totaled 8 million. For us speculators, having 8 million felt like standing at the peak, ready to move towards billions. At that time, I promised my family, 'Once we make 10 million, we can move into a better house and no longer worry about money.'
I spoke these words with such confidence, but now remembering it feels so ironic. The first few weeks went smoothly; 8 million quickly rose to 9 million, and then 10 million. At that time, I refreshed my account almost every day, staring at the rising numbers, fantasizing that this money would keep increasing until I could afford to buy a house and a car, even invest in new projects. Screenshots on my phone piled up, and I wished to share them on social media, letting everyone know how 'successful' I was.
But this kind of 'success' came too fast and left just as quickly.
In the cryptocurrency world, money that can be earned quickly can often be lost just as quickly. This was a truth that I could not understand at that time. Watching the account numbers soar, my greed was magnified. One day, a friend in the group posted a screenshot of his 'high-leverage' profits, easily multiplying by ten. I looked at his screenshot and inexplicably felt a bit envious - his principal was less than mine, yet he earned more than I did, which made me feel uneasy.
So I began to pursue higher returns and decided to use leverage. First 10 times, then I thought the profit was too slow and chased it to 20 times. This decision to leverage became a turning point in my entire cryptocurrency experience - in the market at that time, adding 20 times leverage was like parkour on the edge of a cliff.
In the first week after leveraging, I was almost going crazy. The numbers in the account fluctuated dramatically; money was pouring in like a river, making my blood boil, as if I could become a millionaire in the next second. My family looked puzzled; they didn't understand what leverage was, only that I had become excited and anxious recently, even staying up all night in front of the computer, no longer caring about anything around me.
If it were just excitement, that would still be a good thing. But leveraging means that once the price fluctuates slightly, I could instantly lose money. In the cryptocurrency world, after leveraging, those numbers that were once in your pocket can turn into your nightmare at any time. Making big money is not easy, but losing it can be particularly rapid. Soon, Bitcoin's market fluctuated violently, and the day that scared me the most was when Bitcoin plummeted over 20%, watching my account drop from 9 million to 7 million, my palms were sweaty, and my mind was buzzing.
I didn't sleep and didn’t dare to close the account; I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, I would wake up to find all the money gone. At that moment, I regretted it, thinking that if I hadn’t leveraged, the worst-case scenario would merely be a loss of twenty percent, rather than heading step by step towards the abyss of liquidation like I am now.
The next day, the market warmed up a bit, but my heart remained uneasy, fearing that the price would drop again and I would be liquidated. But in the midst of this torment, as the market rebounded, the remnants of luck and the fantasy of a 'comeback' in my heart began to surface again. Those greedy thoughts grew like seeds in my heart, quietly devouring my rationality.
I originally wanted to stop, but I couldn't help but keep adding to my positions. Whenever the market slightly rebounded, I always felt that it would continue to rise, fantasizing about the price returning to a high level until my account crossed ten million. However, the market never listens to you. In the following weeks, the market became even more unstable, with Bitcoin rising and falling like a roller coaster, eventually dropping so much that my principal could no longer hold on; the 20 times leverage felt like struggling on the brink of life and death. One day in the early morning, Bitcoin's price finally fell below my safety line. My account was forcibly liquidated, and almost all of the 8 million turned to nothing.
That morning, I was almost slumped in front of the computer, staring at the dismal balance on the screen, my mind blank. Those profit screenshots I once boasted about now seemed utterly ironic. 8 million, in just a few months, or even less than half a year, was completely 'played out' by me.
Friends also came to ask me about the situation, but I dared not reply to messages, nor explain to them. Even if I did, what difference would it make? I could almost imagine their reactions: astonishment, confusion, anger, even disappointment. After all, some of that money was also their savings.
I thought I would collapse, even thought I might do something extreme, but at the moment I sat in front of the computer, I felt an inexplicable 'relief.' I slumped in the chair, as the nerve that had been taut for months suddenly relaxed, my eyes were warm, but I couldn’t even cry. I sat like that for a long time, feeling as if I had been hollowed out.
From that day on, I almost became a 'walking dead.' I didn’t go out for several days, didn’t answer calls, completely immersed in feelings of loss and regret. I couldn’t imagine how to live in the future, nor could I face those people, let alone my family.
I spent the next two weeks in a daze, friends’ calls still coming in one after another, but I didn’t have the courage to answer even once. Until one day, my mother hurried over from our hometown and knocked on my door.
The moment I opened the door and saw her, I was almost speechless with tears. My mom said nothing, just sat on the sofa looking at me, her worried and pained expression made me feel even worse. She didn't ask anything, quietly accompanied me until the emotions in my heart finally broke down.
‘Mom, I’m sorry, I lost all the money…’ I choked out.
My mother patted my shoulder and comforted me by saying that money can be earned again, but people must live well. Looking at her face, I truly realized at that moment that I am not alone; I have family, a wife, and children. And yet, I almost lost everything because of this failed cryptocurrency investment.
The day after my mother passed away, I decided to look for a job. I could no longer sink into this despair. In the past, I was a standout in the company, but now I had to start from the bottom again. I knew that from now on, I would no longer be the person who easily promised my family 'financial freedom.'
In the days following my mother's departure, I began to force myself to step out of the house, trying to face the world again. Everything about me looked so miserable: the account was cleared, I was physically and mentally exhausted, and I owed several friends money. To be honest, just thinking about it made my scalp tingle, but back then, I could only grit my teeth and push through.
One Monday morning, I went to a company for an interview. I, who was once full of confidence, now only felt nervous. Since the failure in cryptocurrency trading, my mindset had been shattered, and during the interview, I couldn't articulate my words; the interviewer looked at me with confusion: 'Weren't you part of the management team before?' I lowered my head and answered ambiguously.
Day after day, the burdens of life gradually pressed down on me, as if they could crush me at any moment. The dream of getting rich had completely shattered, yet the debts in reality still remained. I lived frugally, saving a portion of my monthly salary to pay off debts, living as if struggling to survive in a tight space.
While trading cryptocurrencies, I stayed up late every day, lived a life of day and night reversal, and insomnia became a common occurrence. Now it’s better; I no longer need to monitor the trades, but all the physical ailments remain. Stomach pains, insomnia, and palpitations always woke me up at two or three in the morning, my mind replaying the scenes of losses in cryptocurrency trading. I had become so thin that I was nothing but bones; even my family sighed when they saw me. My mother worriedly said, 'Just do a proper job; why make yourself like this?'
I smiled at her, trying to hide the sadness inside me. This failure not only cost me my health but also created an irreparable rift among my family. Every time money was mentioned, my wife's eyes were filled with disappointment. She once had high hopes for me, but now I had not only failed to provide her with a stable life but had also burdened her with heavy debts.
Once, my wife finally couldn’t hold back her anger and asked me, ‘How long will it take to pay off the debts? Didn’t you say the investment was stable?’ Her voice was icy, making me feel like my heart was being stabbed by needles. I had no words to respond but could only lower my head and silently endure.
During those lonely days, I realized that Bitcoin was no longer just a matter of money; it had become a major test in my life. I lost not only money but also the trust of my loved ones. Thinking of how I had once promised to bring wealth and happiness to my family, those promises now seemed like a joke. The failure in cryptocurrency trading turned me from a spirited 'investor' into a 'disgraced' figure in my family's eyes.
Occasionally, I still chat with past 'crypto friends'; many of them are also experiencing similar situations. Some are even worse off than I am, heavily in debt, and suddenly turned into 'deadbeats,' with their bank cards frozen, their lives completely destroyed.
‘Do you want to go back to the cryptocurrency world?’ someone asked me once.
I shook my head and said, 'I don’t want to think about it anymore; the belief in the coin circle is just the numbers of money, the farther away, the better.' In fact, it's not just me; many people have seen through this. What belief, what future, it’s just that when it goes up, they believe; when it drops, they run. At that time, when the market rose, the atmosphere in the group was like winning the lottery, but once it crashed, those so-called 'believers' disappeared without a trace.
I’ve seen some 'retail investors' shout slogans: 'Bitcoin is the future,' but if you listen to those words too much, you will realize that no one truly believes it; they only care about 'skyrocketing,' and 'faith' is merely a guise during the rise, no one mentions it when it falls.
Looking back at the 'confidence' I had when I first entered the circle, it seems utterly foolish now. The world of cryptocurrency is not a place for ordinary people. Those big players holding huge sums of money control one round of the market after another, cutting down retail investors like me. Even if you can make money for a while, you are ultimately in a trap designed by others, and sooner or later, you will lose everything.
Life was tough, and once a friend recommended a ‘cash withdrawal agent’ who said that for a 20% handling fee, he could convert the remaining digital assets into cash. Although the terms sounded like a trap, I was already reckless at that time and thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try.
The trading started smoothly; the other party confidently said that as long as I transferred the money to his designated account, cash would be in hand within 24 hours. But unexpectedly, a day passed, and the other party disappeared, blocking all contact methods. I was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan, unable to sleep for two whole days, trying various ways to get the money back, but in the end, I could only watch it go down the drain.
I was completely awakened, realizing that the so-called 'gray operations' outside the cryptocurrency world are simply unreliable. When the money was gone, I not only felt heartbroken but also felt foolish. To make up for some losses, I actually believed in a person with no background and gave him my last savings. After experiencing this incident, I was completely disheartened. There is no 'safe exit' channel in the cryptocurrency world; once retail investors' money goes in, it's almost impossible to get it back.
I haven't told anyone about this gray withdrawal experience, not even my wife. But I know that the more secrets I have in my heart, the deeper the cracks in my family. My wife no longer asks me about the whereabouts of this money; instead, she always looks at me with a cold gaze. Sometimes I even feel that she has long since given up any expectations of me.
She no longer took the initiative to talk to me; sometimes while chatting with the child, I felt like a transparent person in the family. Occasionally, she would mention some financial pressures at home; I knew she was hinting at me, reminding me, but I could only lower my head in silence. I tried to explain to her, but every time I opened my mouth, she looked at me coldly, as if listening to a ridiculous performance. Those indifferent gazes made me acutely aware that I had completely lost my family's trust.
One night, around two in the morning, I sat at my desk flipping through a stack of IOUs and bills, and my despair gradually magnified. Thinking of the millions that had vanished, I couldn't help but burst into tears. That was years of savings, the trust of friends, the expectations of my family for my life, and now it had all turned to dust.
That night, a thought flashed repeatedly in my mind, wanting to end everything once and for all. I even took the pill bottle out of the drawer and stared blankly at it.
At that moment, the child's door opened, and he rubbed his sleepy eyes and asked, 'Dad, what are you doing?' His voice instantly woke me up. I hurriedly wiped away my tears and pretended nothing was wrong, saying, 'Nothing, Dad is working overtime.' He looked at me in confusion and turned back to his room.
When he closed the door, I angrily threw the pill bottle back into the drawer, my mind blank. I knew I couldn't do this. No matter how difficult it is, I cannot let my family down, and I cannot abandon them. At that moment, my inner guilt and shame surged up, making me realize that I should not indulge in failure, nor should I give up on myself.
The next morning, I looked in the mirror and for the first time truly saw myself. The once spirited me had long since become haggard, my eyes dull, and I was so thin that I looked like a shriveled puppet. I knew it was time to let go of past losses and obsessions and to live again.
From that day on, I made an effort to invest more energy into my work. Although the salary was meager, the income allowed me to gradually save up money to pay off debts, and I began to regain some confidence. Most importantly, I started to learn to care for my family, making up for the family life I had once neglected. It might take a long time to recover, but I told myself that as long as I keep going.
As long as you live, there will eventually be hope.
Every time I open my computer and see news from the cryptocurrency world, I can’t help but smile lightly. That was once the place where I pursued 'financial freedom,' but now it has become my most painful memory. I know I will never go back; it does not belong to me, nor to ordinary people like me.
This incident made me realize that the most precious wealth in life is not money, but family, health, and a grounded heart.
