Ladies, gentlemen, degenerates, and fellow dreamers of the blockchain — gather 'round as I unravel a tale so financially modest, it borders on philosophical performance art. Today, I stand before you not as a whale, not as a shark, not even as a guppy — but as a humble crypto traveler who turned $5 into $6.

Yes. You read that right. Not $5 million. Not $500. Not even a fancy cup of Starbucks' seasonal, overpriced, sugar potion. Just one solitary, glorious dollar gained. But oh, what a dollar it is — shimmering with cosmic, ironic significance.