$BTC Why did the BTC pair break up?

Because Bitcoin couldn’t commit, and Ethereum kept gaslighting!

Every time they tried to go out, Bitcoin said, “Sorry, I'm consolidating,” while Ethereum showed up 30 minutes late blaming “network congestion.” They tried couples counseling, but the oracle couldn’t verify their relationship on-chain. Finally, they split—ETH went DeFi, and BTC just kept HODLing its feelings.

Now they only see each other at awkward crypto conferences. BTC pretends it doesn’t care, but secretly stalks ETH’s wallet address every weekend. Classic case of digital love lost in the blockchain.

Relationship status: It’s complicated... and decentralized.