In the corner of the yard at Macau's Coloane Prison, there was a chipped iron table. CZ wiped the surface with his Rolex-clad wrist - it was a miracle that this watch hadn’t been stolen in prison. Sitting across from him was SBF, whose iconic curly hair now resembled a mop that had been struck by lightning. His T-shirt still bore the FTX logo, though the "X" had faded into a blurry cross.
"Bomb." Do Kwon threw out four Qs, the electronic shackles on his wrist flashing red. The founder of Terra had just finished serving his sentence in South Korea and was extradited to the U.S. to continue his prison term, making him the first person to do cross-border imprisonment.
Su Zhu held his cards with a sneer: "Dude, didn't you learn how to play doubles in a Korean prison? Q exploded on the third card, just like your UST stablecoin - premature ejaculation." The former "crypto currency Soros" now had a slight strabismus in his left eye, reportedly a souvenir from being chased by creditors.
Sun Yuchen peeked out from behind CZ like a ghost: "It's time to play..." CZ didn't look back and brushed him off: "A true gentleman observes the game without speaking." Boss Sun awkwardly retreated, the Tron necklace around his neck jingling. This "industry leader" who had never been to prison was especially quiet today - after all, the four at the table were all veterans who had "returned from gilding."
"Can't take it." SBF mumbled while scratching his eczema. The former CEO of FTX had developed a hobby of counting ants in prison. Now, everything looked like K-line charts to him. He stared at the shackles on Do Kwon's wrist: "Your 'hardware wallet' is even safer than Ledger."
The card game was arranged by Guard Old Li, a retired prison officer who opened a "Rebirth Club" to cater to high-profile individuals released from prison. Under the slogan "confess and receive leniency" on the wall hung a price list: Dou Di Zhu teaching - 500 USDT/hour, psychological counseling - 800 USDT/hour (including a free prison survival manual).
"Three with two." CZ played three Ks with a pair of 7s, his movements resembling pressing "confirm transaction" on the Binance app. The former Chinese billionaire had lost twenty pounds in California prison and now looked like he was wearing a mop in a suit. "I heard you used instant noodles as currency in there?" Su Zhu asked while playing cards.
"More reliable than your Three Arrows Capital." CZ smiled: "At least my instant noodles haven’t decoupled." The room burst into laughter, Su Zhu's face turned pale. The collapse of LUNA triggered a chain reaction, and the hundred-billion-dollar empire of Three Arrows Capital collapsed like a house of cards.
Sun Yuchen couldn't help but interject: "It should be used for pairing..." The four chimed in unison: "Shut up!" SBF added: "People who haven't been to prison don't deserve to speak." Boss Sun, feeling wronged, began playing with his phone. The live stream audience immediately flooded the comments: "Brother Sun, don’t cry, we support you!"
"Rob the bank!" Do Kwon suddenly slammed the table. This Korean version of "Jia Yueting" learned five languages during his time on the run but never quite understood why UST collapsed, "Just like my algorithmic stablecoin, it was perfect." He always loved to say this when throwing out a straight flush.
Guard Old Li brought in the prison specialty drink - a "Rebirth Cocktail" made with orange juice and antidepressants. SBF gulped it down: "Better than FTX's tap water." He had once made headlines in a Bahamian prison due to water quality issues, with netizens joking at the time: "Even drinking water at the exchange causes a crisis."
The second round began. Su Zhu drew two kings but pretended to sigh: "Ah, just like the Bitcoin I bought at the bottom last year..." CZ directly blew up with an AAA bomb: "Cut it out, you still have altcoins piled up in your prison account." Everyone laughed again; after the bankruptcy of Three Arrows Capital, people discovered Su Zhu's cold wallet was filled with tokens with names that were hard to pronounce.
"Pass." SBF stared blankly at his 23456 straight, this hand resembling FTX's balance sheet - seemingly coherent yet full of loopholes. Prosecutors once said his accounting looked like he was playing Monopoly, and now he had truly become a living textbook of prison economics.
Do Kwon suddenly cursed in Korean. His "stablecoin bomb" was smashed by CZ's "regulatory iron fist" (four 2s). "You Koreans do projects," Su Zhu said while shuffling cards, "just like your kimchi - if it ferments too much, it explodes."
The table suddenly shook; it was Sun Yuchen shaking his legs. He had just received a text alert: the 10 billionth NFT was born on the Tron blockchain - a cartoon image of four people playing cards. "Let me play a hand..." he requested for the Nth time. "Sure," SBF grinned, "but let the SEC sue you successfully first."
The third round saw a dramatic turn. Su Zhu held eight heads (aces) but hesitated, just like the moment he should have run during the LUNA collapse. "Play it!" Do Kwon urged. The electronic shackles beeped like a liquidation alarm. In the end, Su Zhu chose to "draw quietly," only to be brutally defeated by CZ’s "compliance straight flush."
"Do you know where the problem lies?" CZ was organizing chips (made from prison cafeteria meal tickets), "It’s just like the risk control at Three Arrows - hard when it should be hard." Su Zhu countered: "At least I didn't plead guilty." The entire room suddenly fell silent, CZ and SBF exchanged glances. The former paid a fine of 4.3 billion to almost avoid prison, while the latter was sentenced to 25 years and is currently appealing.
Guard Old Li appeared just in time: "Gentlemen, it's time for psychological counseling." The four then realized it was already dusk outside. SBF suddenly said: "You know, I've figured it out in prison: finance is an infinite game..." Do Kwon interrupted: "But prison sentences have a limit."
When they stood up, Sun Yuchen finally grabbed a seat: "Now it's my turn..." Before he finished speaking, the alarm blared, and the guards rushed in: "Visiting time is over!" The four were taken away separately, leaving only Boss Sun sitting in front of the card table. The last scene viewers saw in the live stream was a broken hand: scattered on the table were a 7 representing UST, a spade K with the Binance logo, and - an orange prison tag dropped by someone.
Old Li shook his head while cleaning up: "These blockchain folks even want to decentralize card games." At that moment, a meteor streaked across the night sky, only to reveal it was Musk's Starlink satellite. From a distance, Su Zhu shouted: "Next month, I’m launching a crypto poker chain!" CZ's fading laughter responded: "Remember to pass SEC review first..."
Further Reading: The Crypto Circle: A Chronicle of Genius, Ambition, and the Rise and Fall of Bubbles
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