"HODL Meditation"

All money in Bitcoin — because "it's digital gold!" Main strategy: do not sell even if the price drops more than 90%. Relax, the universe will fix everything.

"Altcoin Quest"

Bought 50 different coins that no one has heard of, because he heard that one of them would “take off.” After 2 years, most are worth 0.0001 cents, but there is one that has grown by 0.0003% — already a winner.

"Meme Coin Hero"

All money in Doge, Shiba, or “cat crypto,” because he believes that dogs and cats are the future of crypto. Hold until there is a meme investment fund from the UN.

"Pump and Dump Fairy Tale"

Gathers coins where the red signal is flashing, then all friends in the chat launch a mass purchase. If he manages to escape before the dump — profit. If not — well, at least there’s a funny story for the Telegram channel.

"DeFi Shaman"

All money invested in the trendiest DeFi protocols, which offer new farming opportunities with 5000% APY every day. Risks? What’s that — he hasn’t heard, he’s in a visualization of infinite income.

"NFT Collector, or How I Bought a Picture for an Apartment"

Has one NFT with a cartoon cat and believes that in 10 years it will be worth more than a Tesla. Others think it’s just a picture.