$ETH Ethereum: The Genius Who Forgot His Keys

Ethereum is like that brilliant friend who promises to change the world… but every time he’s about to do it, the network crashes. Smart, yes; reliable, mmm… sometimes. While Bitcoin plays at being digital gold, Ethereum wants to be everything: bank, notary, DJ, and shaman. Only, every once in a while, it runs out of gas (gas fees) and charges you $50 to move $5. A luxury.

Its followers see it as the future of humanity. Its haters see it as an experiment that never leaves beta phase. And Vitalik… well, he looks like a kindly alien trying to teach us something we still don’t understand.

Ethereum 2.0 promised to solve it all. It was like waiting for Messi in the second half only for his asthmatic cousin to come out. Yes, it improves a bit, but it doesn’t score.

So, if you’re willing to pay absurd fees to launch NFTs that no one buys, or you want to program a smart contract that can freeze your funds due to a coding error, Ethereum is your home.

But, hey… at least it’s not Cardano.