#TradeWarEases BREAKING: Trade War Eases
Markets: throws a rave
Economists: cry tears of cautious optimism
Twitter: “BUY THE DIP—wait no, SELL THE RIP—actually just PANIC.”
Me: “Didn’t we just have a full-on economic WWE match last week?”
Global powers: “We’re friends again. For now.”
Also global powers in 5 minutes: “Unless…”
Stocks: shoot up like they just snorted optimism
Gold: “I’m still valuable, I swear!”
Crypto: slaps on sunglasses and moonwalks into volatility
News anchor: “Trade tensions are easing after months of tariff battles.”
Me: “So… we threw the economy into chaos just to say ‘my bad’?”
China and US shaking hands:
Caption: “When you rage quit the game but come back 10 minutes later like nothing happened.”
Investors: “Should we trust this peace?”
Markets: “Too late, already pumped 300 points. Get on or get wrecked.”
Everyone forgot we were beefing yesterday.
It’s giving toxic ex vibes:
“Yeah we fought, but we’re chill now. Until next time.”
Trade war easing isn’t peace.
It’s the eye of the storm.
Stay strapped. Stay diversified.
And LMAO don’t forget—everything is fine until it isn’t.