I've always felt that what a man fears most in his life is not lacking money, but having love in his heart yet being unable to provide stability.
Every day when I open my eyes, I'm not chasing dreams, I'm fighting against reality. I know she doesn't care whether I have luxury cars or mansions; all she wants is a stable life, a summer with air conditioning, a winter night with hot water, a kitchen with enough food, and a me who is emotionally stable.
But I also know how much extraordinary effort goes into these seemingly 'ordinary' days.
I'm not afraid of leaving early and returning late every day, not afraid of working overtime while my peers are traveling, not afraid of seeing others show off their happiness and success on social media. What I fear is that one day she gets tired, feels wronged, and wants to rely on me, only to find that I can give her nothing.
She isn't a woman who cries easily, but when she's occasionally down and silent, I get more anxious than anyone else. I don't want her to suffer even a little, yet I find that my abilities are still not enough to shield her from the storm.
There are too many unpredictable things in this world: rent, car loans, parents' illnesses, workplace undercurrents, life's accidents. But she is the one I chose, the girl I want to spend my life with, and I must be strong enough to bear everything for her.
I'm making money not for face, not for show, but so that when life comes knocking, I don't have to turn back and say to her, 'You hide for a moment,' but instead step forward and say, 'Don't be afraid, I'm here.'
Am I tired? Of course, I'm tired. But I've never thought about giving up because she is my soft spot and my only armor. She is the one who, when I was at my lowest, was still willing to share her love with me. Now it's my turn to give her the whole world back.
If a man can't even protect the woman he loves, what meaning do his dreams and ideals have, no matter how grand they are?
Money isn't everything, but at least it allows me to stand in front of her instead of stepping back and watching her face the storm alone. What I want is that one day she can proudly say, 'I'm doing well, not because I'm lucky, but because he's really capable.'
So I can endure hardship, bear pressure, stay up late, and keep my head down, but I can't let her feel wronged. I won't allow her tears to fall; I won't allow her sadness to be ignored.
I'm not afraid of a hard life; I'm afraid of her having a hard life.
