In the past two days, the market violently rebounded, and the profit effect was obvious, but I made another mistake, a simultaneously foolish and not foolish mistake.
This mistake, I really don't know how to explain.
I got hooked again and traded frequently, opening a bunch of long positions, and I even multiplied it by over 170 times, but it was a small position—oh no, I can't call it a small position; I should call it a tiny position, just 10 USDT.
Before the market came, I had just transferred the remaining three thousand USDT to a new account. My old account only had 10 USDT that couldn't be transferred out. Then during the market in these two days, I managed to grow that remaining 10 USDT into 1700 USDT.
And what about the new account?
With the help of my newly established trading system, I made less than a thousand USDT.
I fell into complete depression.
From the beginning of the year until now, I've lost repeatedly, losing again and again, to the point where I'm completely numb, to the extent that I don’t even dare to open historical positions, nor do I want to review them.
Because there's nothing to review; I knew where the problem was from the very beginning. When ENA made a double top at the beginning of January, I knew the market trend was gone, and there were no more opportunities to make big money.
But knowing is just knowing; I just can't accept it and refuse to resign!
Especially after missing out on Trump, the thought of wanting to exit was completely overwhelmed by the frenzied emotions, and I was completely hooked, even feeling the need to compare myself with others. Why did they make a profit on that wave of A8 and A9 while I made nothing?
Even knowing that these are all wrong, when the mindset is twisted, at that time, one really will comfort oneself and fool oneself.
At that time, I desperately brainwashed myself, telling myself that as long as I grab something with high certainty, it doesn't have to be much; just grab a coin that could triple or quadruple, and I wouldn't even expect USDT's A8, just RMB's A8 would be fine.
I immediately liquidated everything at A8, and I won't play this year. Then I swore and made oaths, and almost wrote myself a guarantee letter.
After fooling myself to the point of being foolish, I began to act like a fool with a clear conscience.
Then I started losing in spot trading, went to play with contracts, lost again in contracts, went to chain to play with dogs, lost on the SOL chain, then went to BNB, still lost, and then I ended up playing on Base and Apt on the bearish chain. In the end, I even played with Sun's ridiculous TRON chain.
But in the end, aside from making a small profit from that wave of BNB, I fell into a vicious cycle of losing more the more I played, getting more hooked the more I lost, and losing more the more I got hooked. I frequently traded against the trend, sold when it went up, but stubbornly held on when it went down. Looking back at my trading records from that time, the various stupid operations were unbelievably foolish. I even wanted to pry open my brain from that time to see if it was infested by alien beings. How could that be something an old player like me, who had been in the crypto world for seven or eight years, could come up with?
But at that time, I was really hooked, to the point where I almost lost all my funds. Don’t mention the profits from earlier in the year; I even lost my original capital completely, and only then did I suddenly wake up, but it was all too late.
Now looking back, memories of that time are almost blank. I lost in various ways, but I can't remember specifically where I lost. Don't mention contracts or playing with dogs; I even lost money just from picking up scraps.
By early March, not only had I almost lost all my money, but I had also driven myself to a point of physical breakdown.
Moderate depression combined with moderate anxiety, plus hyperthyroidism.
Forget it, I'll stop writing here. I'm starting to feel down again. I’ll see how it goes tomorrow before I write more. Bye.
