$BTC

Bitcoin has soared again, like a cork from cheap champagne 🍾, because Donald “The Deal Maker” Trump announced: we now have a trade deal with the United Kingdom! 🇬🇧👏

And maybe, someday, if the stars align, he will generously lower tariffs on China. Or not. Who even keeps track? 🤷‍♂️

The markets, of course, reacted instantly: Bitcoin jumped 4.1% and crashed above 100 thousand bucks, like a student at a free buffet 🎉🍔. The coin reached a three-month high — why bother understanding the real reasons for the rise when you can just enjoy the pretty headlines? 📰

As a bonus, U.S. Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnik promised “dozens” of new deals. Somewhere in a parallel reality, they have already started printing collectible albums for these deals with stickers like “Catch them all!” 🃏.

Rumor has it that tariffs on China are set to be cut from 145% to some pathetic 50% — almost charity! 🎁