Introduction (breakthrough)
Do you choose clothes thinking: 'What will people say?' Do you delete posts if they have few likes? Are you afraid to express your opinion in a company?
Congratulations — you are a hostage of 'social approval'. The good news: this is not an innate trait, but a skill that can be changed.
Why are we so dependent?
🔹 Evolutionary bonus: 50,000 years ago, being exiled from the tribe = death.
🔹 Childhood beliefs: 'Be a good boy/girl.'
🔹 Social media: Likes = dopamine spike.
Dependency test:
1. Do you get nervous if someone doesn't reply to a message immediately?
2. Do you change your decision if someone criticizes it?
3. Do you rarely say 'no', even when it's inconvenient for you?
2+ 'yes' = it's time to work on self-worth.
The 'Emotional Armor' method
Step 1. 'Who are these people?'
Ask yourself:
- Does this person pay for my bills?
- Will their opinion change anything in 5 years?
Tip: Write down the names of 3-5 people whose opinion really matters to you (for example: mother, best friend, mentor). Everyone else is just 'background'.
Step 2. Practice 'Conscious Discomfort'
Every day, do one 'uncomfortable' action:
- Go out to the store in an oversized sweater
- Post without a filter
- Refuse the argument where they are trying to convince you
Tip: The brain understands — 'survival' does not depend on the approval of strangers.
Step 3. The 'What if?' technique
Scroll through the worst-case scenario:
- 'What if they mock my choice?' → Answer: 'Then they are not my people.'
- 'What if I make a mistake?' → Answer: 'Then I'll learn something new.'
Emergency help 'Here and now'
When the fear of judgment hits:
1. Breathe 4-7-8 (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8).
2. Clench your fists for 10 seconds — then relax (physical control reduces anxiety).
3. Ask yourself: 'Whose opinion of me is more important: these people or my own?'
🔹 Final with engagement:
'Try one step from 'Emotional Armor' today and share in the comments: what was the hardest part? Your experience will help others!'
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