#FOMCMeeting Wall Street Traders: "Did they cut? To the moon, baby!"
Powell, unfazed: "Did I stumble?"
Millennial homeowners: "So... is it a good time to refinance?"
The Federal Reserve: "Yes, a resounding no."
Current state of the market:
Stocks: Feeling their power, walking like they own the place
Bonds: Midlife crisis mode
Crypto: Throwing a 2021-style party
Gold: Zen and carefree
Recession: Still waiting in the lobby, flipping through outdated magazines
Summary of Powell's press conference:
"We are doing what is necessary."
Translation: "We are just winging it with some fancy charts."
Let's be real: FOMC meetings these days feel like a crossover episode of Market Chaos, FedSpeak 101, and Generation Z vs. Wall Street.
See you next time: bring snacks and maybe a therapist who understands macroeconomics.