#FOMCMeeting #FOMCMeeting UPDATES
The Fed just wrapped up its latest meeting—and let’s be real, the only thing spiking faster than interest rates might’ve been Powell’s stress levels when someone asked about a “soft landing.”
Wall Street traders: “No rate cut? Cool, let’s pump anyway.”
Powell (stone-faced): “Did I stutter?”
Millennials with mortgages: “Should we refinance?”
The Fed: “Absolutely not.”
Current Market Vibes:
• Stocks: Swagger unlocked, walking like they own the bull run
• Bonds: Existential crisis incoming
• Crypto: Partying like it’s 2021 again
• Gold: Centered, sipping tea, not stressed
• Recession: Still loitering in the lobby, reading a 2019 issue of The Economist
Powell’s Press Conference TL;DR:
“We’re doing what’s necessary.”
Translation: We’re improvising with a slideshow.
At this point, #FOMCMeeting are basically a crossover between Market Madness, FedSpeak: The Series, and Gen Z vs. Wall Street.
See you at the next one—bring snacks and maybe a macroeconomist with a sense of humor.