Another round of great economic theater — the FOMC Meeting or 'The Club of Expensive Suits and Cheap Promises' — is back on stage.
What's on the menu?
12 people, including our favorite chairman Jerome Powell, gather in a closed room, surrounded by screens, coffee, and inflation data, to decide whether they will vacuum liquidity from the market or pump it back in like cheap gas into a balloon.
The main question:
Raise the interest rate? Keep it? Lower it?
— And for what purpose, Jerome? To save the economy or to ruin the stock market? Or maybe to play with cryptocurrency like a toy for adults?
A few numbers to make it look solid
• Interest rate for March 2025: 5.25% — at a level that even Greenspan would call 'tight'.
• Inflation: 3.1% — and this is after all the monetary diet that was force-fed to us over the last two years.
• Unemployment rate: 4.0% — seems decent, if you forget that most new jobs are pizza delivery.
Who benefits from the FOMC show?
The answer is simple: banks, the government, and speculators.
You, a simple citizen? Don't worry, you are just paying on a mortgage that has become 38% more expensive and are glad that inflation has 'dropped' to a level that would have been called an economic crisis in the 2010s.
Meanwhile, Wall Street has been guessing over coffee grounds for the third day in a row:
'Will Powell say the word 'soft landing'? Or maybe 'pivot'? Or maybe 'pause'?'
Every word is like a Harry Potter spell, capable of causing NASDAQ to rise or Bitcoin to crash in mere minutes.
Crypto is nervously smoking in the corner
As soon as the FOMC moves — Bitcoin dances.
5% up if Jerome smiles slightly.
8% down if he blinked the wrong way.
And Solana? ETH? They're completely dependent, like a teenager on TikTok. And who says this is decentralization?
Summary
So, when you next see the headline 'FOMC Meeting Results', just know:
your credit card, your crypto, your stocks — all already in their hands.
And while Powell talks about 'data', he is actually talking about power. Over money, over markets, over us.
Because if you think the economy is governed by logic — you probably invested in Dogecoin in 2021.