#FOMCMeeting

BREAKING:

The Fed just wrapped up their meeting, and the only thing climbing faster than interest rates was Jerome Powell’s blood pressure when someone brought up a “soft landing.”

Wall Street:

“Rates are paused—to the moon!”

Powell: Raises one eyebrow “Did I say that?”

Millennials with mortgages:

“Is it time to refinance?”

FOMC: “Yeah… that’s a no from us, dawg.”

Market reactions:

Stocks: Up and celebrating

Bonds: Confused but pretending to get it

Crypto: Partying like it’s late 2021

Gold: Calmly sipping tea

Recession: Sitting in the waiting room like it's a dentist appointment

Powell’s official message: “We’ll do what we have to.”

Translation: “We’re improvising with spreadsheets.”

Let’s be honest—every FOMC meeting delivers three things: panic, memes, and a crash course in what “hawkish” means for a whole new generation.

See you next meeting. Bring popcorn—and maybe an emotional support economist.