#FOMCMeeting FOMC Meeting Recap: Rates, Reactions, and the Rise of Powell’s Blood Pressure

The Federal Open Market Committee #FOMCMeeting (FOMC) just wrapped up its latest meeting, and while interest rates may have paused, the drama certainly didn't.

The Scene

As the financial world held its collective breath, Jerome Powell took center stage once again—stoic as ever, yet visibly tense. One might say the only thing rising faster than the Fed’s benchmark rate was Powell’s blood pressure when someone dared mention the term “soft landing.”

Investors, analysts, and social media pundits alike clung to every word, only to be met with Powell’s signature poker face and a not-so-subtle eyebrow raise. Translation: “Did I stutter?”

The Fed’s Move

Despite mounting pressure, the Fed decided to pause interest rate hikes—for now. But don’t let that fool you into thinking this is a pivot. It’s more like a breather on a very steep hike.

Powell’s official statement?

> “We’ll do what we gotta do.”

Market Reactions

Like a financial-themed soap opera, reactions poured in:

Stocks: Shot up like it’s 2020 again. Wall Street bros cheered, already planning the after-party.

Bonds: Confused, possibly in denial.

Crypto: Dancing like it’s late 2021, with alt coins pumping and meme coins howling.

Gold: Calmly sipping tea in a corner, whispering, “I’ve seen worse.”

Recession: Still looming. Waiting in the metaphorical lobby like a nervous patient at the dentist.

Meanwhile, every millennial with a 6%+ mortgage cried out in unison: “Can I refinance now?” The Fed's reply? A cold, Randy Jackson-esque: “That’s gonna be a no from us, dawg.”

The Takeaway

The FOMC might pause, pivot, or push forward, but one thing’s consistent: the emotional rollercoaster that follows every meeting. Markets panic, the internet speculates, and a whole new generation Googles what “hawkish” and “dovish” mean.