At 3 AM, I refreshed my wallet balance for the 17th time: 1,023,786 yuan. The cold light from the screen hit my face; the numbers I swiped through looked like some kind of alien symbols—six months ago, they were barely a 5-digit deposit in my bank account.
I've heard too many myths about getting rich in the crypto world, but when I actually turned a 30,000 capital into a million profit, my first reaction was fear.
1. Absurd wealth game
I clearly remember that magical night:
Before the shitcoin surged, I saw an anonymous message in a Telegram group: 'The next SHIB, hurry in.'
Fingers move faster than the brain; I gambled all my positions in 5 minutes.
In the following three days, my assets multiplied by 40 times.
No technical analysis, no white paper research, purely a conspiracy between gamblers and algorithms.
2. The emptiness after a million
I did everything that should be done in a wealth template:
✅ Resigned, posted on social media 'Thanks to Blockchain.'
✅ Bought AJ, treated friends to omakase Japanese food.
✅ Transferred 100,000 to my parents, falsely claiming it was a 'project bonus.'
But when I sat in my rental room at dawn, staring at the full screen of candlestick charts, I suddenly realized: I had lost my 'sense of purpose'.
– Continue trading? I know this time it was just luck.
– Buy a house? Not even enough for the down payment in a first-tier city.
– Entrepreneurship? I don't have any skills except watching candlestick charts.
The scariest thing is: I can no longer endure a life of working 9 to 5 for a monthly salary of 10,000.
3. Self-Rescue Checklist
In the past two months, I have tried various methods to break through my confusion; perhaps they will serve as a reference for others in similar situations:
1. Money Isolation Experiment
I exchanged 800,000 for gold and stored it in a bank safe; only when I touched these metal blocks did I feel that the money was real.
2. Low-end job experience
I intentionally worked part-time at McDonald's for three days, recalling the line from (Fight Club): 'You are not your fucking khakis.'
3. Chat with 'those who have been there.'
Met with two seniors who became rich during the 2017 bull market; one lost everything running a guesthouse, and the other transitioned to Web3 venture capital— the latter said, 'You need to distinguish between luck and real ability.'
4. I have temporarily decided:
Spent 200,000 on vocational training (learning AI/cross-border? Still undecided).
Invest only 20,000 per month, freeze the remaining funds.
Forced myself to go out for 2 hours every day to avoid becoming a 'digital cave dweller.'
I know this money won't change my social class, but at least it should be an entry ticket, not a notice of exit.
(As I write this, I realize that the real confusion is not about money, but how to define myself after 'sudden wealth has stripped away the narrative of ordinary people's struggles'.)
— Perhaps you have also experienced this feeling of tearing?
