In 1940, while the West was still mailing letters, the Soviet Union launched the most advanced military logistics network in the world: Redchain — a blockchain built entirely on fear, beetroot, and five-year plans. Every soldier received a state-issued ration wallet. No passwords, just a firm handshake and a loyalty test. Your daily soup? On-chain. Your boots? Tokenized. Your moral standing? Reflected in your wallet balance.
There were no medals — only NFTs. Got wounded while charging a machine gun nest? Congrats, you’ve been airdropped a Common Bravery Token (non-transferable). Crawled 17 kilometers with frozen toes and no complaints? You just unlocked a Rare Endurance Badge, animated in glorious 2-bit red.
The entire Red Army ran on Proof of Gulag — a consensus mechanism where incorrect behavior (like requesting extra cabbage or suggesting a DAO) led to instant staking… in Siberia. Not slashed. Shoveled.
There was a Launchpool, too. Stake your helmet, earn $BORSCHT. Top stakers gained access to the Comrade Premium NFT Pack featuring iconic assets like Stalin With Lightning Eyes and Shoeless Hero of Supply Chain.
Every smart contract was hardcoded by a man named Ivan who hadn’t slept since 1937. If it failed? Not a bug. You were.
Forking wasn’t allowed. As the manual said: “There is only one fork — and it’s in the canteen.”
Gas fees didn’t exist. Just ideological debt. And if your transaction ever bounced, your entire family was relocated to Compliance Node 4 (historically referred to as ‘a hole’).
The system was brutally efficient. The blockchain was immutable. And the finality? Let’s just say: there were no second chances.