It all started when I woke up at 3 AM from the neighbor's parrot's scream. A voice in my head said: “Buy ShmyaksCoin. It will grow when pigs fly.” I opened #Binance but there was no such token. So I created it myself. The name, white paper (more like a napkin from KFC), and a logo — a pig with wings. The story went off track...
Chapter 1: How I sold my soul to a bot in Telegram
Start:
I posted a meme about ShmyaksCoin in the chat “Crypto-Mommy Millionaires”. The bot @CryptoJesus wrote: “Give 0.5 BNB — the token will soar.” I sent it. An hour later, my wallet was empty, and the bot changed its name to @ScamHolyGhost.
Moral:
“If a bot says it is Jesus — it's the Antichrist. Or a hamster from Minsk.”
Chapter 2: Listing on Binance or how I hacked the Matrix
Feat:
I drew a screenshot of ShmyaksCoin's listing on Binance in Paint. I posted it on Twitter with the tag #ToTheMoon. Ten minutes later, my post was stolen by a “guru” with the caption: “Secret token from CZ!”. The price increased by 100000%. While I was celebrating, the token fell to zero. Reason: CZ retweeted a meme with the caption “LOL”.
The secret of success:
“Hype loves the bold. And the foolish.”
Chapter 3: The pigs flew, but not the ones
Catastrophe:
ShmyaksCoin began to grow when a farmer from Nebraska launched a pig from a drone for TikTok. The video went viral. My “team” (me and my cat Boris) didn't manage to sell — the token crashed after a truck with the inscription “HODL” hit the pig.
Conclusion:
“Prophecies come true. But it would be better if they didn't.”
Chapter 4: How Binance Earn saved my sanity
Strategy:
Everything that was left from the portfolio (0.3 BNB) was stuffed into the staking “Guaranteed x1000”. After a month, I received 0.30000001 BNB. The exchange sent an NFT “Survivor” with a photo of a crying Satoshi.
Life hack:
“Staking is like yoga. Money doesn't grow, but it doesn't run away either.”
Final: I am still here
“Now I mine ShmyaksCoin on a 1997 calculator. My portfolio is worth $0.5, but I have an NFT of a flying pig and 300 subscribers who believe I am the new Vitalik. Binance is silent. The neighbor's parrot screams: “To the moon!”. And I wait for the HODL truck to return...”
P.S. Are you ready to invest in pigs? Or already?
P.S. This is a fictional story) Sorry)
💬 Your turn: If your portfolio were a meme, what would it be? Write in the comments. The best answer will receive the NFT “Crypto-Clown” (value: 0x0).
