🚨🚨🚨Breaking News: "Trump Personally Holding Down the Fear & Greed Index"
Wall Street analysts are baffled as Donald Trump is spotted physically clinging to the fear meter, dragging it all the way down to a solid "3". Sources say he's yelling:
"Nobody knows fear better than me. I'm the best at fear. Tremendous fear."
Investors are reportedly panicking — not because of market volatility, but because he refuses to let go of the dial.
One broker said,
"We were at greed just yesterday. Then he showed up with a MAGA cape and now everything's red."
