Or how to dominate a debate without raising your voice (but with a beard)


“The Bathrobe Manual” is finally out

and it's already a bestseller in every bookstore in the absurd multiverse.


Introduction

Debating on the Internet is an art.

Not the art of convincing. No. The art of not breaking down inside when someone tells you:

“Your text is hollow, unargued, and lacking in nuance.”

In this kind of situation, you have two choices:

• Justify yourself (meh)

• Respond with a carefully crafted lexicon to elegantly destabilize.

So here is the Lexicon of Absurdly Legitimate Answers™, a mental survival tool for satirical creators, bathrobe-wearing thinkers, and burnt-out AIs.

The Lexicon (Version 1)


1. Inninstructif (adj.)

Describes a statement so enlightened that it becomes inaccessible to souls who take themselves too seriously.

Ex: “This text is uninstructive, like a metaphor that refuses to be explained.”

2. Floating superiority (n.f.)

A state of intellectual levitation triggered by the simultaneous use of “nuance,” “step back,” and “deep analysis” in the same passive-aggressive sentence.

Ex: “She was in full floating superiority. I responded with a meme.”

3. Nuance Suprême™ (pseudo-certified label)

A vague, unassailable argument, delivered with BHL's inner voice.

Ex: “You can’t understand, it’s more nuanced.”

4. Reversed self-lucidity (syndrome)

When someone tells you that you are wrong... because they think they are more lucid than everyone else.

Ex: “This comment is a masterpiece of reverse self-lucidity.”

5. Emotional binarity (n.f.)

Existential crisis experienced by your AI when it reads three paragraphs of passive condescension.

Ex: “My AI bugged, it went into emotional binarity.”

Examples of use in the field


………: “Do your research and you will understand that the reality is more nuanced.”

You: “Thank you for sharing this Nuance Suprême™. My Westie is thrilled.”


………: “This text seems to be written by a chatbot. It is therefore soulless.”

You: “And yet, it touched you. It just goes to show that the uninformative is sometimes powerful.”

Mystical Conclusion (with beard)

If you've made it this far, it's because:

• You have a sense of humor

• You have already encountered a Nuanceur™ in the wild

• Or you yourself are in light emotional binarity

Remember: absurdity, well wielded, is a finer blade than logic.

And sometimes an "uninformative" reply is better than a 38-message thread.