JOKE

Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.” 🤝📄
Me: “I’m a crypto trader.” 💹🔥
Interviewer: “Oh, interesting! What’s your biggest strength?” 🤔
Me: “I can watch my portfolio nuke -80% overnight 😵‍💫💀, call it ‘healthy market correction’ 📉, chug my 9th cup of coffee ☕, and still whisper ‘WAGMI’ before passing out. 😎💪”
Interviewer: “And your biggest weakness?” 😳
Me: “I have a few… let’s see:

🔹 Checking charts every 2 seconds like my life depends on it. 📊😵‍💫

🔹 YOLOing into FOMO pumps 🚀, only to panic sell at the absolute bottom. 💀📉

🔹 Telling myself ‘It’s just a paper loss’ as my savings evaporate. 💸🔥

🔹 Drinking more coffee than water. ☕☠️”
Interviewer: “Uhh… any other skills?” 🤨
Me: “Oh, of course! I can:

🔹 Refresh Binance faster than a high-frequency trading bot. ⚡👀

🔹 Calculate liquidation prices before I can count my remaining money. 🔢💀

🔹 Survive a -99% crash with nothing but copium & emotional damage. 🥲📉

🔹 Say ‘I’m in it for the tech’ while praying for a moonshot. 🚀🙏”
Interviewer: “Impressive… what do you do in your free time?” 😅
Me: “What free time? My life is just:

🔄 Long? Short? REKT? Repeat. 😵‍💫📉📈”
Interviewer: “...Welcome aboard.” 🎉🤣
#CryptoTraderLife 🚀😂 #CryptoTalkerBro 💎😭 😜🤣🤣 #joke 💀 #ChartWhisperer 📉📊 @Square-Creator-6bed74298bb8

✨🔮Hello crypto people, I am Valentina and I am chronicle looser. I have a three of reasons to think why it’s like this:
1. 🛑 I was born in the biggest country all times, but in the very next day this country fell apart.
2. Three times in my life I’ve broken up with different guys because somehow they found out they were gay 💅💅💅
3. Every time I stalking my someones instagram I accidentally liking post from 2-5 years ago to make them sure I’m stalking 🤦‍♀️
I could write more but we’re here not for this.
I was avoiding crypto things since 2012. Everybody around was using crypto wallets, in my country you can pay crypto in stores and I didn’t touch this topic even with 3-meter-stick.
So a two weeks ago I did one freelance gig and they asked if they can pay me in crypto. In short: this is how I got here. They pay me in $SOL but invoice was in USD. I was surprised how easy crypto is and decided to hold some $SOL . In short now I have almost twice less than I had initially.
I didn’t surprise because I’m looser. But I didn’t realize that because of me the entire crypto #MarketDownturn and you guys there too.
😭😭😭Sorry it’s all because of me :(😭😭😭
But I’m not giving up easily. You all have a chance to “help” me quit crypto. Yes it’s a blackmail. 🔫🔫🔫 The plan is simple: you send me moneys, I quit crypto, the market will stabilise.
#humour #comedy #joke