**🌪️ "How to Make It in Crypto" (A Brutally Honest Flowchart)**

1. Do You Have…

**a) Skills?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Go to question 2*

- ❌ **No** → *Shill low-cap memecoins until blocked by 500 people*

**b) High Risk Tolerance?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Become an MEV bot herder (requires soul forfeiture)*

- ❌ **No** → *Write ‘gm’ in 50 Discord servers daily for exposure*

2. Can You…

**a) Code?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Audit smart contracts (sleep with one eye open)*

- ❌ **No** → *Become a "Thought Leader" (post word clouds daily)*

**b) Write/Talk?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Sell alpha groups (80% recycled CT tweets)*

- ❌ **No** → *NFT influencer (use 20 hashtags/post)*

3. Moral Compass Check

**a) Are You Evil?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Rug pull advisor (3-month runway → Bahamas)*

- ❌ **No** → *DAO janitor (clean up governance drama)*

**b) Need Experience?**

- ✅ **Yes** → *Fake it until VCs fund your "novel L3"*

- ❌ **No** → *Pivot to AI (add "GPT" to your project name)*

4. Final Destination

- **Web3 Job**: $200k salary + 10M tokens (worth $0.003 post-vest)

- **Ambassador**: Paid in exposure (and existential dread)

- **Security Audits**: Fix code while battling imposter syndrome

**🚨 Pro Tip**: If all else fails, **trade memecoins** with:

- 50x leverage

- No research

- 100% conviction (until -80%)

**Conclusion**:

Crypto is 10% skill, 30% luck, 60% surviving CT dunk contests. Choose wisely.

*Tag someone living this* 👇

#CryptoCareers #Memecoins #Web3

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*Disclaimer: This is satire. Mostly.* 🎭