Relationships
That is your relationship with anyone, it depends on how strong you are and how many chips you have in your hand.
I used to worry about why my friends wouldn't come to me if I didn't take the initiative to look for them. After I looked for them a few times, I gradually understood that the world is bustling with people, all for profit. If you are not valuable to others, why would they look for you?
After I figured it out, I stopped wasting time and energy on maintaining so-called interpersonal relationships. Instead, I focused on improving myself:
1. Give up trying to please others
The quality of your relationship with others does not actually depend on how good you are to them, but on your strength and the bargaining chips in your hand. People are generally more tolerant of the strong, and even if the weak have done nothing wrong, they will be treated harshly. Even if you keep swallowing your anger, it will often be seen as cheap flattery.
2. Don’t be afraid to look at people
When you first start dating someone, you must stand up straight, don't hunch your back, dare to look the other person in the eye, speak in a strong and powerful voice, and pretend to be calm even if you are panicking inside. People are like this, they will treat you according to how you behave. If you show confidence, he will not dare to be presumptuous to you easily. If you show inferiority and cowardice, he will look down on you.
3. Be strong
Don't just answer whatever someone asks you. You should also take the initiative and ask them back. For questions that you don't want to answer or that offend you, you can choose not to answer or ask them back. For example, if someone asks you how much you earn and you don't want to tell him, you can ask him back, "To show your sincerity, you should tell me first," and throw the question to him. Talking to people is a psychological game. If you are strong, he will be weak, and if you are weak, he will be strong.
4. Prepare your own chips
If you have no value, others will not bother to pay attention to you. Prepare your own bargaining chips early. It can be your professional knowledge, the way you know how to make money, the many resources you have, the elite connections you have, or to be more straightforward, you can be rich. When you have the chips in your hands, you can communicate with them and negotiate conditions. Otherwise, no matter how much you say, they will not be shaken by your words.
5. Learn to establish a persona that is not easy to mess with
When you first start interacting with someone, don’t be overly polite, overly generous, or considerate. Instead, you should be cold-faced, difficult to talk to, and assert your rights. Smile less, talk less, and most importantly, when someone tests you, bullies you, or disrespects you for the first time, you must fight back and let them know that you are not someone to be trifled with, so that they won’t dare to be presumptuous to you in the future. It is really difficult to get good treatment from others by being nice, polite, and good in this society. If you want to be more comfortable, you can be a good person, but you can’t act like someone who is easy to talk to.
When you are strong enough, the whole world will be kind to you.
