In March of this year, my phone screen suddenly lit up. It was a friend I had known for many years sending a WeChat message, saying there was a surefire way to make money and that I should hurry to his house to discuss it. I didn't think much about it, threw on a jacket, and rushed to his place, filled with expectations of 'making money.' As soon as I entered, he pulled me to sit on the sofa, with a phone and an iPad in front of me, the screens filled with dense candlestick charts, red and green lines. I furrowed my brow and asked, 'Isn't this gambling?' He scratched his head, his tone a bit ambiguously excited: 'Kind of, but I know someone who had nothing before and now almost has a hundred million!' Because I had never dealt with contracts before, 'a hundred million' felt like a hook, making my heart race. I thought about trying a few tens of thousands. If I lost, it would be fine; a few tens of thousands was within my capability. So that day, he and I each charged 50,000, each person had over 7,000 in profit. On the first day, I easily made a profit of 2,000, which stunned me. It turned out money was so easy to make. The sudden sweetness made me completely unaware of how big the risks were. But before I could be happy for long, the next day, I immediately faced the words 'liquidation,' which instantly brought me back to reality.
At that time, I still didn't realize that this was just the beginning of a nightmare. I always felt that 'next time I can win it back,' day after day, from March to July, in four months, all my savings were gone, my mindset completely collapsed. I couldn't sleep at night, tossing and turning, and when I closed my eyes, all I saw were the price numbers of the big cake and the small cake and the amount of loss. My friend's situation was worse than mine. When we got together, we barely said a few words before our eyes turned red, even thoughts of ending it all came up. There was no other way; the two of us still wanted different versions. I sold my house and only remember that day when we were sitting in the agency's office, our hands trembling while signing the contract. The house was a thought of home, my place of belonging, but at that time, all I could think about was 'recovering my losses.' I couldn't care about anything else. After the sale money was credited, we dove headfirst into the contract again, and just last month, at the end of the month, this money was also lost.
Now there are only 40,000 left, I don't want to struggle anymore. If this 40,000 is gone, I really don't know what to do. Now when I think back to that day in March when my friend sent a WeChat message, and the first time I saw the candlestick chart, my heart feels like it's being squeezed and it hurts. I really regret it, I truly regret it. I regret my greed back then, regret wanting different versions over and over again, and regret putting my good life into it. I want to show everyone all my records, why is it only for a month? I'm really collapsing.
