General Liang Xi's Butt Economics: From Bear Market to Bull Market and the Path to Monetization

Late at night, a shocking announcement suddenly popped up on a social platform: "One hundred thousand dollars, selling my butt for a bloodbath!" The publisher, General Liang Xi, with the hardcore ID of "White Tiger Has Been Neutered," is seriously discussing the feasibility of using his butt as startup capital to turn the tables.

Phase One: Bear Market Dividend Period

Last year, General Liang was bid by a wealthy person from Chengdu for the original shares of his butt at a high price of one hundred thousand. "They call this 'bear', it's a blue ocean in a segmented market!" He lamented the missed opportunity, reminiscent of stock investors reminiscing about the 200 yuan era of Moutai.

Phase Two: The Deadly Trap of the Fitness Bull Market

This year, determined to slim down to 65kg, with eight-pack abs fresh off the factory line, he encountered a valuation crisis: "Now that I'm as slim as lightning, will the investors still be interested?" The fitness coach never mentioned that losing fat could lead to a devaluation of core assets.

Phase Three: Innovative Financial Solutions

General Liang introduced the "Installment Sale of Butt" plan: a deposit of 10,000 dollars unlocks a photo collection, and the remaining 90,000 cash is paid upon satisfaction with the goods. To show sincerity, he even opened a crowdfunding channel for the "Liang Family Army": "Now that there is enough money, this general won't sign a betting agreement!" — A truly magical risk hedging strategy for 2024.

Onlookers are offering advice:

"Suggest opening butt futures trading"

"The slim version is called 'Lightning Butt', with a higher premium"

"Chengdu tycoons, hurry and build a due diligence team!"

At this moment, General Liang's private message notification sounds like firecrackers. Is it an angel investor making a deposit? Or is the Liang Family Army gathering enough funds to redeem the butt? The only certainty is that in the prospectus for this butt IPO, it boldly states the modern internet magical survival rule:

> When all roads are closed, the body is the last liquidatable asset.

(Kind reminder: Entrepreneurship carries risks, selling butts requires caution. If you encounter financial difficulties, it is recommended to contact formal financial institutions first — they can take your house, but not your butt.)