I might die soon, within these couple of days. I have suffered brain damage due to excessive inhalation of some drugs, which has caused my brain to be deprived of oxygen and my nervous system to be damaged. I cannot breathe on my own; I have to consciously control my breathing with my brain. This means that if I fall asleep now, I won't be able to breathe automatically. My brain is congested, and my blood vessels could rupture at any moment. I have been given a critical illness notice. My condition is very serious; I am now using a respirator, as my brain can no longer breathe autonomously.

My life has been a tragedy from beginning to end. If I don't make it this time, I will accept it. I have always been seeking thrills, constantly comforting myself that it doesn't matter if I die one day; living has always been so painful.