How to spot a crypto influencer: 🎯
✅ Profile pic: Laser eyes or monkey NFT
✅ Bio: "Not financial advice" (gives financial advice)
✅ Every tweet: "This is just the beginning!"
✅ Bear market: Disappears faster than your portfolio
✅ Bull market: "I called this rally!" (conveniently forgets 47 wrong predictions)
✅ Sells courses on "How to get rich" instead of actually trading
✅ Uses rocket emojis as punctuation 🚀🚀🚀
BONUS POINTS: Claims to have "diamond hands" while obviously selling the top
Current mood: Waiting for these gurus to predict something... anything... correctly 😂
Note: Sarcasm detected, don't take it seriously!