#TradingTypes101
Types:
Scalper
“Sleeps less than a server, blinks less than a sniper.”
Day Trader
“Buys coffee like it’s a stock—quick in, quick out, minimal gain, maximum anxiety.”
Swing Trader
“Too impatient for long-term, too lazy for day trading — the Goldilocks of chaos.”
Position Trader
“Invests like a grandparent: checks portfolio once a year, panics once a decade.”
Algorithmic Trader
“Letting code lose money faster than he ever could manually.”
Copy Trader
“If you lose, I lose. If you win… I still lose, somehow.”
Paper Trader
“Rich on spreadsheets, broke in reality.”
Crypto Trader
“Sleeps next to candles. Not the romantic kind — the red, painful kind.”
Forex Trader
“Thinks in pips, dreams in yen, cries in dollars.”
Fundamental Trader
“Reads 800-page reports just to buy what TikTok said yesterday.”
Technical Trader
“Can’t commit to a relationship, but trusts a moving average crossover with his life.”
Emotional Trader
“Buys high, sells low, then blames the stars.”