When You Check Your Crypto Portfolio and Regret Having Emotions
They said, “Buy the dip.”
So I bought the dip…
Then the dip dipped again.
And again.
And now I’m deep in Dip City — population: me.
My portfolio?
It looks like a sad Christmas tree: all red, no green, and definitely no gifts.
Each coin I believed in is now starring in a horror film called “Retracement: The Sequel.”
Every time I open my portfolio app, it’s like playing a horror game.
The screen loads…
I squint…
And BOOM — another jump scare.
Down 15%, again.
Thanks, emotions.
This is the wild world of crypto — where logic goes to die, and emotions run the trades.
I bought at the top because I had FOMO.
I held through the dip because I had hope.
Now I’m considering meditation… or maybe farming.
But I’m still here.
Still holding tighter than an aunt holds onto a grudge from 2009.
Still convincing myself, “This is just a correction.”
Still waiting for that magical moment when green candles appear like a Marvel post-credit scene.
Sometimes I stare at my screen hoping my coins will sense my loyalty and pump out of pity.
Spoiler: They don’t.
Welcome to crypto — where math meets madness, and your portfolio turns into a rollercoaster without seatbelts.
But hey, it’s all part of the journey.
Some days you win big.
Other days… you learn expensive lessons.
Disclaimer:
This content is purely for laughs and not financial advice.
Always do your own research before investing.
Crypto is highly volatile — kind of like your ex, but with candlestick charts.
Relatable?
Tag someone who said, “This coin is going to the moon,” and now won’t make eye contact.
And remember: if you’re still here, still learning, still holding — you’re doing better than you think.
Stay strong. The next pump might be just one meme away.
