🚨 Breaking News: Meet the Trump Coin — the “Stablest” Crypto Since… Well, Ever! 🚨
Patriots, conspiracy fans, and 2016 nostalgia lovers, rejoice! 💎🇺🇸 Introducing the **Trump Coin**:
- Gold-plated (like his hair in a filter).
- Trump’s face + ✨sparkle emoji✨ (humility? Never heard of her).
- Backed by “the people” (aka old tweets).
- Limited supply — he’s still monetizing everything. 😅
Flipping = 50% riches, 50% chaos (windmill rants included). 🌪️
Bonus: Use it to buy groceries, get a free MAGA hat (size: ego). 🧢💥
Warning: Shiny AF. May blind seagulls. Side effects: wall-building urges. 🏰🐦
Tech specs:
- Runs on *“The Art of the Deal”* ©️ (patent pending).
- Mine by yelling “CHINA!” at a shovel. 🏗️🇨🇳
Testimonial:
*“Worst investment since my divorce.”* – Anon
*(Disclaimer: Satire. Probably. Consult your therapist.)* 💆♂️💔
