#FOMCMeeting
The Fed just wrapped their latest meeting—and let’s just say, Powell looked more tense than a Jenga tower in an earthquake when someone dropped the phrase “soft landing.”
Wall Street: “Rates unchanged? Strap in, we’re headed to the moon!”
Powell, expressionless: “Was I unclear?”
Millennial homeowners: “Is it finally time to refinance?”
The Fed: “Yeah… no.”
Market mood right now:
Stocks: On a sugar high
Bonds: Deep existential crisis
Crypto: Partying like it’s late 2021
Gold: Napping peacefully
Recession: Still waiting in the lobby, flipping through outdated magazines
Powell’s press conference, summed up:
“We’re staying the course.”
Actual translation: “We’re winging it with spreadsheets.”
Let’s face it—FOMC meetings now feel like a blend of financial theater, policy jargon puzzles, and Gen Z trying to decode what “dovish” and “hawkish” even mean.
Catch you next meeting—bring popcorn and a therapist fluent in macroeconomics.