#FOMCMeeting

BREAKING:*The FOMC just wrapped up, and the only thing that spiked faster than interest rates was Jerome Powell’s blood pressure when someone whispered "soft landing."

Wall Street Bros: *"Rates on hold? Moon time!"*

Powell (side-eyeing): *"Did I… stutter?"

Meanwhile, millennials with mortgages:

So… can I refinance or…?"

FOMC:*"That’s gonna be a hard no, fam."

Market Reactions:

📈 **Stocks:** Up.

📉 **Bonds:** Existential crisis.

🪙 **Crypto:** Party like it’s 2021.

🥇 **Gold:** Sips tea, unbothered.

📉 **Recession:* Waiting in the lobby like a dentist appointment.

Powell’s Official Statement: We’ll do what’s necessary.

Translation: We’re just out here vibing with economic charts.

The only constants at every FOMC meeting? Panic, confusion, and a fresh batch of traders Googling hawkish vs. dovish.