#FOMCMeeting
🚨 BREAKING: FOMC Drops the Mic – Rates, Reactions & Chaos Incoming! 📈🔥
The FOMC just wrapped their meeting and the only thing rising faster than interest rates was Jerome Powell’s blood pressure when someone dared to say “soft landing.” 🫣
Wall Street bros:
“Rates paused, we moon! 🚀”
Powell: raises eyebrow “Did I stutter?” 🧐
Every millennial with a mortgage:
“Can I refinance now? 🏡”
FOMC: “That’s gonna be a no from us, dawg.” ❌
📊 Markets reacting like:
• Stocks: ⬆️ Up & vibing
• Bonds: 🤯 Confused & spinning
• Crypto: 🎉 Partying like it’s 2021
• Gold: ☕ Calmly sipping tea
• Recession: 🛋️ Waiting in the lobby like it’s a dentist appointment
Powell’s official statement:
🗣️ “We’ll do what we gotta do.”
Translation: “We’re winging it with charts.” 📉🦅
Let’s be real—the only constant at FOMC meetings?
⚡ Panic
⚡ Confusion
⚡ A new generation learning what “hawkish” means
Catch you at the next meeting — bring popcorn 🍿 and an emotional support economist 👓