1.

"In 2010, someone bought two pizzas for 10,000 Bitcoins.

In 2025, I’ll probably trade my entire portfolio for a medium fries at McDonald's.

The circle of life, but sadder."

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2.

"Crypto is the only place where you can lose 90% of your money and still feel like a genius because you ‘understand the technology.’"

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3.

"Me: I’ll just invest a little bit in crypto, play it safe.

Also me: Takes out a second mortgage, sells my car, eats instant noodles for six months, checks charts every 4 minutes like I'm decoding alien signals."

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4.

"Imagine explaining to someone in 1999:

'One day, digital coins that don't physically exist will crash your economy, ruin your sleep schedule, and still somehow make you feel alive.'

That’s crypto, baby."

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5.

*"Crypto life advice:

Buy the dip.

HODL through the crash.

Regret nothing.

Cry internally.

Repeat until either rich or enlightened."*

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6.

"Everyone: Crypto will make you financially free.

Reality: Emotionally unstable, caffeine addicted, refreshing CoinMarketCap at 3 AM wondering if you should just become a goat farmer instead."