š„ "I Asked Trump About Bitcoin Over Dinner ā His Reply Could Make You Rich"
šØ Breaking the 4th Wall:
āThey said I couldnāt get Trump to talk crypto. They were wrong.ā
š· Scene-Setter (Fiction That Feels Real):
Mar-a-Lago, 9 PM. Trump sips Diet Coke, eyes a golden Bitcoin statue.
Me: āMr. President, if you hate CBDCs, will you pardon Silk Roadās Bitcoin?ā
Trump: āI love Bitcoin. The real enemy is Chinaās digital yuan. Weāll bury them with mining!ā
(Imaginary steak sizzles as he drops a policy bombshell.)
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š„ 3 SHOCKING THINGS TRUMP āSAIDā (That Could CRASH or PUMP Your Portfolio):
1ļøā£ āETH is a Security? Ridiculous! Weāre Deregulating EVERYTHING!ā
(Why it matters: ETH to $10K if Trump backs an ETF.)*
2ļøā£ āSBF? Total Loser. Iāll Lock Up Corrupt Crypto Crooks ā BUT TAX-FREE GAINS FOR YOU!ā
(Translation: Memecoin mania 2.0 incoming.)*
3ļøā£ āIām Buying MORE Trump NFTs ā Theyāll Be Worth $1M on Solana. BELIEVE ME!ā
(Prediction: $TRUMP, $BODEN tokens will swing wildly. Play the election narrative.)
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š How to TRADE This NOW:
- Short CBDC-linked coins (Trumpās war on digital dollars = volatility).
- Buy U.S. mining stocks (Marathon Digital, Riot Platforms).
- HODL āTrump ETFā tokens ā theyāll peak at Julyās RNC Convention.
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šØ WARNING: 90% satire, 10% REAL (Trump IS hosting crypto donors this month).
š YOUR MOVE:
Agree? Call me delusional? Comment below and Iāll DM you a FREE āTrump vs. Biden Crypto Portfolioā cheat sheet (24 hrs only!).
š„ Follow for more āleaksā from my imaginary dinnerā¦