Good morning, the moonlight is really beautiful, hello everyone.
1. Preface
From last Friday to today, my principal is 10,000, I’ve already withdrawn, currently, my account balance is 35,000. But I am especially collapsed right now.
I want to emphasize that I am particularly mentally collapsed.
I only slept for two and a half hours, the rest of the time I lay in bed unable to fall asleep, but I am especially tired.
I’m very tired, I enter a hazy state while lying down.
I feel mentally off, gloomy, and tight in my chest.
I know I’m mentally strained, but I didn’t casually increase my position.
To relieve my emotions, I withdrew 3000 RMB in the middle of the night.
But it didn't have much effect.
I remembered the day before I was liquidated last year, I was like this too.
I called home to tell them I made 220,000, they were all very happy.
Then that night I was liquidated.
The next day my mom called me, still hoping I would withdraw the money.
The result was that I was liquidated.
Thinking about that time makes me feel suffocated.
This isn’t my first bankruptcy; I was also liquidated after the big correction following the Ethereum 2.0 upgrade in June 2023.
In October 2023 during the National Day holiday, a wave of correction in Bitcoin also liquidated me.
I increasingly feel that trading cryptocurrencies and futures is suffocating.
Recently, I have rarely watched from the sidelines for a long time.
This time entering the market brought me a huge profit,
But I am not happy at all, rather I am very depressed, my eyelids can barely open.
I’m not only uninterested in playing games or watching movies, I’m even uninterested in a catheter.
Right now, even if there is a stunning beauty in front of me shaking her hips and sticking out her chest, I wouldn’t be interested.
I just want to keep winning.
Constant losses, constant profits, I want to keep winning.
I want to recover my losses.
Will you not touch it again after recovering your losses?
No,
I still want to be different, I want to keep winning.
Am I an idiot? What qualifications do I have?
I’ve been trading for 3 years, seen so much, how can I still have this desire?
Rationality is in a tug-of-war, desire is screaming.
You need to be slower, slower, cautious, careful.
So painful, so boring, even placing an order doesn’t excite me.
Maybe repeatedly placing orders makes my cerebral cortex tense; I have to numb my perception through mental paralysis, otherwise, I completely can’t hold on.
2. Position: Principal 10,000 RMB (already withdrawn) -> Current funds 38,000 RMB
Total leverage ratio 12.71 times
ETH can now be boldly bought long, I opened a very high leverage position around a price of 1760, 100 points liquidation, it didn’t go up, I continued to roll my position.
The position screenshot is below.
Follow me! My homepage has all my diary entries, just consider them a fun record to look at. It might have a bit of reference value for your trading.
