1000x leverage, 150,000,000 position size

I'm so tired, really, for ordinary people like us, it's really hard to succeed. I worked hard all day, and the biggest confusion is that I can't afford to lose. I can't handle such large fluctuations in my account. As an ordinary trader with no way out, if I blow up the funds in my account and lose all my money, I won't be able to sustain my life. What can I do? I'm so confused. I made the most of the market all day today, and now I still have a small position in hand. Do I still have to keep trading in the future? The last dance in the crypto world counts as my final funds. I'm very reluctant about it. If I were to trade with low leverage, it would be painful. It's easy to say that I can earn eight to ten thousand a day, and if I maintain it for a year, it would be quite a bit of money. But this process is very difficult; I can't overcome the oppression in my heart. Trading until the end is really terrifying. I still have one hundred fifty thousand in my account. What should I do? Strictly speaking, I am a pessimistic trader, just like my sad life. I will do my best to complete my last dance in the crypto world, which can also be seen as a tribute to my four years of passionate years.