**Ethereum and Bitcoin: The Comedy of Market Woes 🎭**

*Act 1: The Tariff Tango*

Ethereum is doing its best impression of a sinking ship, dropping over 10% this week alone. Thank you, Donald Trump, for the new tariffs on Chinese goods, which have sent global markets into a tailspin. Even World Liberty Financial, Trump's DeFi brainchild, dumped 5,400 ETH, locking in losses faster than you can say "bear market." 🐻

*Act 2: The ETF Exodus*

Bitcoin ETFs are seeing red—$326 million worth of redemptions in a single day. Ethereum isn't faring any better, with whales and institutions jumping ship. It's like a synchronized swimming event, but everyone's diving for the exits. 🏊‍♂️

*Act 3: The Yield Yo-Yo*

U.S. Treasury yields are spiking, making borrowing as fun as a root canal. Analysts suspect forced liquidations are at play, and Ethereum is feeling the heat. It's a panic party, and everyone's invited! 🎉

*Finale: The Waiting Game*

With the Fed's next move uncertain, Ethereum's future is as clear as mud. Until then, the bears are running the show. Grab your popcorn, folks—this crypto drama is far from over! 🍿