This is the most painful day for me this year. I am now calmly breaking down, not knowing where to say it, just randomly expressing in this place where no one knows me.

Yesterday, a friend sent me a notice of her mother's passing on WeChat. I had just woken up and didn't react right away, feeling confused and sent some messages, trying to call to verify, thinking it might be a joke, so I didn't pay much attention to it.

There has been training at school for the past few days. Although today is the weekend, the school organized activities. The teacher made me participate semi-compulsorily; I was busy from morning till night, hardly taking a break, didn't have lunch, and during this time, I was wearing high heels, and my left foot can no longer walk normally.

On my way home in the evening, I suddenly remembered this notice. I tried to call her and send messages, but there was no response. I scrolled up the chat history, and she told me the day before she was very unhappy. I just asked her perfunctorily and noticed she hadn't updated her Moments.

I was about to break down at that moment. How could this happen? Why did she leave so suddenly? I am also breaking down now; I really want to cry.

At this moment, I habitually opened X, and a blogger replied to me. I calmed down and asked some questions. The other party was very patient and alleviated some of my breakdown. He said to add him on V, and I did.

I told him I had been wearing high heels all day, and my feet hurt, and I could only take off my shoes to walk. He said I was a boy, and at that moment, I felt speechless and angry. I explained again, but he remained very certain. I broke down again, squatting in that place, typing continuously with my hands shaking. After sending the message, the other party had already deleted me. I returned to X to privately message this blogger, and he said, 'Oh, it was that exaggerated.' Is it really exaggerated?

There are countless bad things in my everyday life; it is very painful. I squatted in that place for a long time, anxious to the point of not being able to walk or think, lying in bed at home and not daring to move. Just thinking about the friend who has already left makes me want to cry, and thinking about this matter that doubts me makes me unconsciously anxious.

On my way home, I also thought about ending it all; living is so tiring; perhaps this is just a small matter.

I go home because I am a day student; saying it out loud feels much better...

#MEME币狂欢 add a tag, there will be a reward. I don't want to write so many words in the square.