Using parents' money to trade cryptocurrencies, what were you thinking 😅, just let it be

Thinking about my mother farming and raising pigs at home, she only earns a couple of hundred yuan a day. I didn't treat her well when times were good. In the last two months, I've lost completely and have made her take out over 30,000 yuan. I really should be ashamed.
Today, my inner demons are urging me to ask for money again, but I refused him. Let me calm my heart first before talking.