The Life of a Crypto Trader Waiting for the Pump
Day 1: “Patience is key,” they said. “Buy the dip,” they said. Okay, I bought… now where’s my pump?!
Day 3: Every candle movement feels like a heartbeat monitor. Am I alive? Am I dead? I don’t even know anymore.
Day 5: I used to measure time in hours and days. Now? I count life in candlesticks. 1H, 4H, daily close… My life expectancy is now tied to the next breakout.
Day 7: Anxiety has evolved. It no longer just eats me; it’s cooking a five-course meal out of my soul.
Day 10: I’ve started seeing Fibonacci retracement levels in my dreams. Also, every minute feels like profit. If I wait one more, maybe I’ll be rich. Maybe I’ll retire. Or maybe I’ll just… keep waiting.
Day 15: I’ve aged 10 years in two weeks. My hairline is receding faster than the market. But I know… the pump is coming. Right? RIGHT?!
Day 20: Who needs a gym? The stress of waiting has burned more calories than cardio ever could. I am now a shredded, sleep-deprived, slightly insane market analyst.
Day 25: The pump finally comes… but wait… why did I sell too early? Existential crisis intensifies.
Welcome to crypto, where every minute feels like a lifetime, and every decision feels like destiny. 🚀💀
#DOGE
