Mark your calendars, degens — March 7, 2025, the White House goes full crypto-bro mode . Donald Trump is hosting the first-ever Crypto Summit, bringing together Bitcoin maxis, blockchain nerds, and federal suits to figure out how much freedom is too much freedom when it comes to digital money.

Running the show: David Sacks — the White House’s official AI & Crypto Czar (yes, that’s his actual job title) — and Bo Hines, the man in charge of the Presidential Task Force on Digital Assets . Their glorious mission? Write rules that don’t kill innovation, but still keep Uncle Sam happy. Best of luck, boys.

And because it’s 2025, they’re also talking about a national crypto wallet — because why let Coinbase have all the fun? Of course, Trump will bless us with a speech — expect something between “Crypto is yuuuge” and “Only I can fix blockchain.”

This isn’t just a summit — it’s a power move. The US isn’t here to adapt, they’re here to take the whole table. Regulation isn’t coming — it’s already here.

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