In the cryptocurrency world, optimism is a disease, missing out is fate, and going to zero is luck!” — Survival Guide for Retail Investors

1. Bitcoin is jumping around the $100,000 mark, like a man who wants to propose but is afraid of being rejected — it just surged to $108,000 last week, and this week it fell back to $96,000, leaving retail investors furious, buying the dip while cursing: “Your price fluctuations are harder to guess than a jerk's feelings!”

2. Altcoins: collectively staging a 'fire sale', now they’ve dropped to the point where even their mothers wouldn’t recognize them. Perfectly illustrates that “one day in crypto is like a year in the real world.”

3. Institutions: counting money while singing praises

Big players like BlackRock and Fidelity shout “Bitcoin will hit $200,000 by year-end” while frantically buying ETFs, raking in $17.5 billion in a single quarter. Retail investors look at their holdings and realize: “So we’re not the chives, we’re the institutions’ human ATMs!”