I'm also 30, don't stay at home anymore, go out to work, how come I haven't earned that little for more than a year.

37 years old, with a technical secondary school diploma, unemployed, with parents and children to support
I lost almost a year's income in two months and dared not tell anyone
I don't know what to do next, the midlife crisis makes me feel more and more confused, the pressure of life makes me lose the courage to live, I wake up from nightmares every day, but I don't even have the courage to die$ETH