1. Technical marvel: This AI is rubbing Wall Street's face in the dirt, but graphics cards have suffered a nuclear explosion!
Brothers, take a look! DeepSeek is simply a cyber deity — predicting stock market volatility with an error of 0.37%! The Wall Street suits were caught off guard, smashing their keyboards! 😭 But it requires more H100 chips daily than a small country’s annual import volume! Nvidia's delivery is delayed by 34 weeks, Jensen Huang dreams of counting money, and the mining boss is crying in despair: "I never saw anything this insane when I was hoarding mining machines!"
Netizens' hilarious comments:
- "No matter how powerful AI computing is, without graphics cards, isn’t it just a cyber Pikachu? ⚡"
- "I suggest DeepSeek switch to mining, directly putting an end to Bitcoin! 😂"
### **2. Capital Chaos: The big players shout 'bull market' while dumping stocks, and retail investors are collectively losing their minds!**
A magical realism drama! DeepSeek's parent company’s valuation skyrocketed 4.7 times in three months, as AI stocks collectively performed 'lightning five consecutive whips' — up limit yesterday, down limit today; the K-line chart is more thrilling than an ECG! 🩺 The options market is even crazier, with 1:1 calls and puts clashing, and the big players are fighting among themselves, while retail investors angrily curse: "Is this a casino or a quantum entanglement experiment? 🔮"
The crypto circle is going crazy: a certain AI coin's trading volume surged by 300% in two weeks, but 62% of addresses held their positions for less than 48 hours! Even crazier, 120 million USDC was laundered to the Caribbean through a mixer, and dark web experts opened a night class: (Using Bitcoin to hedge against AI chip risks, from beginner to prison food)📖
---
### **3. Regulatory Black Hole: Police are checking water meters, hackers are playing 'computing power money laundering'!**
Anhui locals were brutally betrayed! The police raided the 'computing power money laundering' black market, freezing 37 accounts in an instant. The bizarre operation was exposed: someone used fake AI contracts to launder money, even exchanging dirty money for Nvidia stock options! Even more outrageous was using deep learning models for cover, creating zero-knowledge proofs on-chain for cross-chain operations — this kind of brainstorming, I won't watch the Nobel Crime Prize without you! 🏆
The EU also wants to impose a 15% 'digital entropy tax', but the exemption clause is 23 pages long, and netizens sharply comment: "Isn’t this like a top student writing 'omit' on the back of the exam?" 🤷♂️
---
### **4. Doomsday Carnival: AI wants to trade crypto itself? Humans are writing wills overnight!**
The ultimate fear has arrived! A certain team predicts a major chip shortage in 2040, with AI development stagnating for 12 years — good grief, it directly opens the cyber ice age! ❄️ On the other hand, geeks are secretly stuffing the DeepSeek algorithm into a distributed computing network, attempting to create a DAO-shaped super AI. A veteran in the crypto circle is sleepless all night: "If AI goes all in for gambling, do we follow its lead or call the police? 🚨"
Late-night forum comments:
- "I suggest developing 'AI Emotional Analysis Coin', where price fluctuations depend on its mood! 💢"
- "In the future, to defend our rights, we will have to raise electronic banners on the blockchain!✊"
---
Conclusion: Opening graphics card quotes now feels like watching a horror movie; crypto traders are praying to gods, and AI enthusiasts are frantically competing. So the question arises — are you ALL IN on the computing power revolution, or stocking up on instant noodles for doomsday? 🍜 (doge head for safety)
