๐ From the book "The Art of Acting Clearly"
๐น๐น 52 Mistakes You Should Leave to Others
๐ Here's a Russian story: A farmer found a magic lamp.
He rubbed it and out of nowhere a genie appeared, promising to grant him one wish.
The farmer thought for a moment. Finally he said, "My neighbor has a cow and I don't have one. I hope his cow dies."
๐ As ridiculous as this sounds, you can understand the farmer's action.
Admit it: a similar thought has probably crossed your mind at some point in your life.
Imagine that your colleague got a big raise, while you were given a gift voucher.
You feel envious, and this produces a series of irrational behaviors: you refuse to help him anymore, you ruin his plans and you may even puncture the tires of his luxury car, and you secretly rejoice when he breaks his leg while skiing.
๐ Of all the emotions, envy remains the most stupid. Why? Because it is relatively easy to stop, unlike anger, sadness or fear.
๐ Balzac wrote: โEnvy is the most stupid of vices, because there is no benefit to be gained from it.โ
In short, envy is the sincerest form of flattery, otherwise it is a waste of time.
There are many things that spark envy: possessions, status, health, youth, talent, popularity, or beauty.
It is often confused with jealousy because of the similarity of the physical response.
Difference: The object of envy is a thing (status, money, health, etc.). The object of jealousy is the behavior of a third person. It takes two people to envy, while it takes three people to be jealous: Peter is jealous of Sam because his pretty neighbor likes Sam instead of him.
๐ Ironically, with envy, we direct our feelings of resentment toward those who are very similar to us in age, occupation, and residence.
We do not envy businessmen of past centuries, we do not envy plants or animals, we do not envy millionaires on the other side of the earth, we only envy those on the other side of town. As a writer, I do not envy musicians or managers or dentists, but I envy other writers.
As a CEO, you envy CEOs who are bigger than you, and as a model, you envy more successful models.
๐ Aristotle knew this when he said: โPotters envy other potters.โ
This leads us to a classic business mistake: suppose your financial success enables you to move from a poor New York City neighborhood to an upscale neighborhood on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
For the first few weeks you will enjoy being close to everything and how impressed your friends are with your new apartment and new address.
But you soon realize that there are apartments of completely different levels surrounding you.
You have replaced your old peer group with a richer one.
Things that never bothered you before are starting to bother you, and the result is envy and status anxiety.
๐ How to curb envy? First, stop comparing yourself to others. Second, try to find your โcircle of competenceโ and fill it yourself.
In today's world, envy is no longer necessary. If my neighbor buys a fancy car, it doesn't mean he took something from me.
